Tourist Mementos

Just taking flight to Porlamar triggers reflections. Flying over Cubagua, what a good place!... to set up the mother of all "Surviving" episodes, placing 10,000 ultra pro and 10,000 ultra against Chavistas and letting them, unarmed, negotiate an islet project.

I landed at the Porlamar International Airport and speculated on the impact that a photo would have for Joe W. from Texas, a fan of adventure tourism, where “Er Arcarde” [the local mayor] gave him, for his personal use, a latest model Cavim bulletproof vest.

At the airport I confirm that the “duty free” type stores, which in the whole world mean high prices, are camouflaged and do not stand out in a “duty free” area and I remember having proposed to tax “L'Aisla” with very high taxes, to then encourage tax evasion tourism, thus reclaiming its venerable smuggling tradition. For Hans from Hamburg, there should be no antelope head that can compete with a tax evasion certificate issued by the Chamber of Commerce.

And following the same vein, imagine the shy and obedient Lisa from Birmingham, taking a photo “negotiating with the authorities”, with that fat traffic guy who always stopped me at the intersection of Rómulo Gallegos and Los Ruices.

Hans and Helga, the environmentalists from Amsterdam, will remember their protests in front of the power plants that burn oil, because of the geniuses who prefer to cross the Gran Sabana with a power line, to sell our hydroelectricity to Brazil, cheaper than the one we bought to Colombia.

Frank from Boston will be able to visit the Miss Venezuela museum, that should be built; and Moníque from Cannes, could rebuild her ego in Playa El Agua, noting that there are still those who are not indifferent to her uncovered parts.

Finally, and as a great departure gift, everyone will find in their hotel, bound in leather, a copy of the Official Gazette of July 15, 1998, which contains Instruction No. 1 for the Public Servant, which among others, in Article 19 forces the use of “You”, prohibiting familiarities, such as “my love”.

Some time ago I read the label of a soft drink, which proudly proclaimed “Guaranteed 100% artificial” and learned about the importance of mental attitude. Frankly, Margarita is too much of an Island to follow the same route as the others in the Caribbean, where, even on the souvenir flannels we can read, “Different Island...same shit....”

http://alborotandoturismo.blogspot.com/2001/08/momentos-turisticos.html