A New English Language Empire

I have often harbored reservations about the possibility of success of the European Union. In particular my worry is about its new currency, the euro, the bases of which I believe are rather weak. I recently heard that there is still much debate going on which, even when new to me, leads me to rethink many of today’s geopolitical aspects.

I refer to the thesis that the United Kingdom is finding it extremely difficult to get used to the idea that it must forgo much of its autonomy in favor of an entity formed by other nations which are geographically close, but still very mystifying, and therefore could possibly abandon the idea altogether, forging instead an alliance with the English speaking world. Among the sponsors of this line of thought, I find the Canadian newspaper owner Conrad Black and the well renowned historian Paul Johnson.

Having observed how much time and effort the UK and the United States spend coordinating their foreign policy and considering how tempting it must be to unite cultures of the same origin that speak the same language and share the same legal system into one global superpower, it should not really be surprising if we were all of a sudden presented with the creation of an English Language Union, or ELU. Considering the recent impact of Shakespeare in Hollywood it might be a lot closer than we think.

The possible implications of a NAFTA expanded to include the UK plus perhaps even other nations such as Australia and New Zealand (both disillusioned by the Asian crisis) lead me to reflect on other issues in addition to the importance of the English language. 

The first issue that occurs to me is that any pact of this sort would effectively wipe out any aspiration Europe may nurture of going head to head with the United States unless it undertakes internal expansion (Russia or its former satellites, maybe?).

Another important thought is the fact that in a globalized and computerized world, geographical proximity seems to be losing its importance. The truth is that once you have incurred the cost of loading merchandise on an airplane or ship, the marginal cost of transporting it a few thousand miles further is not really that great. This could be of importance to Venezuela, especially when it owns so much oil.

The Andean Pact, is basically a commercial agreement with Colombia. This makes a lot of sense if we are trying to create bigger markets with their corresponding economies of scale for our respective industrialists. 

It does not make much sense as far as real complementary economics are concerned.

It is possible that Venezuela, while not abandoning its policy of creating larger markets, should be intensifying its efforts of negotiating commercial agreements with countries very different from itself, in which we can maintain our competitive advantages.

While oil prices remain low, our currency will be sufficiently weak so as to allow industries heavily dependent on labor, such as the textile confection sector to compete with Colombia. Evidently, if oil prices were to spike upwards, the bolívar would become stronger and would make survival of industries such as these difficult, obligating the country to impose protective duties.

If, however, our agreements would be based more on real complementary issues and economics, then it would be possible to create sustainable results. A simple theoretical example would be a negotiation of an commercial agreement with one of the Nordic states, with a wintry climate, allowing them preferential access to our market, with the establishment of the beaches of Margarita as the preferred winter tourist attraction for its citizens. Chile, for one, has made a lot of this, in for instance promoting fruit exports, taking advantage of the fact that their seasons are opposite to those of the Northern Hemisphere.

There is no doubt that we are in a fluid and rapidly changing environment in which it is of extreme importance to be alert to the possibilities that are presented to us. Personally, I feel that Venezuela should not hurry into commercial agreements, simply because it is the thing to do, the flavor of the month. What’s more, with the sole exception of Colombia, with which we share a permeable border which in turn makes the negotiation of agreements a must, I believe Venezuela has not signed one single agreement in which it comes out ahead in practical terms as a country.

Published in The Daily Journal, Caracas, April 1999

PS. Oops! Does Brexit now reignite this alternative? How much should the English language proprietors now charge the remainder EU for the use of it… so as to avoid a war between Germans, French and Spaniards on which should now de facto be its official language? Or will EU go for Esperanto?

Let's, all whakapohane!

I remember having read a few years back about one particular method used by the Maori of New Zealand to protest about something that bothered them. This method consists of lining up a group of Maori tribesmen, turning their backs towards the person or persons that are the target of the protest, dropping their trousers and showing them their naked backsides. This rite is named Whakapohane. 

Without delving further into this tradition, and in spite of the fact that it seems primitive and is most certainly an ugly spectacle, I think it could be also classified as a civilized and most efficient way to protest. Civilized because it does no damage to anyone or anything (except to those people with a well-developed sense of esthetics) and efficient because it manages to consolidate into one single act and gesture all the sense we could possibly assign to a real social sanction.

There is no doubt that we are often frustrated at not being able to find a way to vehemently protest about the stupid, naive and criminal behavior that negatively affects our country on a daily basis.

The idea of putting together a group of citizens, family men, professionals and white-collar workers with briefcases and ties and heading out to the street to shamelessly whakapohane any deserving person is appealing. Consider the following:

What has been demonstrated without doubt over the past decades in Venezuela is an utter incapacity by government to manage its resources. The International Monetary Fund, for example, predicates that the solution to Venezuela's problems can be found by giving government even more resources to squander by way of increased taxes (as if our oil income wasn't enough taxation).

Clearly, the IMF deserves an act of Whakapohane from our citizens. 

Banking charters are usually awarded in order for them to participate actively in the development of the country's economy.

It is not enough for them to simply return the funds they have received on deposit, since if this were so, it would be better to simply buy a good mattress and put it into a large safe.

There are still many who think it is best to be puritan and to simply continue to tighten the screws on financial solvency of banks without paying attention to the real purpose of banking institutions These people deserve a solid Whakapohane.

There are many national authorities that evidently are aware of the damage to economies that short-term capital flows can cause, and also know that other countries have put workable legislation into place to limit these damages.

They cannot be bothered to take the 48 hours required to simply copy this legislation and enact it in Venezuela. There is no doubt that these authorities deserve to be Whakapohaned.

Those people related to the oil sector that have not been able to either see or warn the country about the possibility of a fall in world oil prices, who, in spite of arguing in favor of conquering new markets, run for cover behind OPEC's skirts when confronted with adverse situations, and who continue to invest scarce resources in projects of low significance such as the expansion of our gasoline stations' capacity to sell snacks, should certainly be offered a great Whakapohane.

Many illustrious representatives of the private sector applauded the privatization of CANTV, without realizing that it was all an elaborate trick perpetrated by the government to collect taxes in advance which we now have to cover through exaggerated service charges. These guys are due a good Whakapohane.

Those die-hard defenders of free trade who simply do not understand that in a globalized world economy each country must, when the chips are down, defend itself and guarantee a minimum internal level of employment should be urgently Whakapohaned.

The entire political and economic system is based on centralized income and decentralized personal apparatchiks.

Members of this system have not been able to come up with a real solution to our problems and should be considered traitors.

They should all be paraded to La Carlota Airport and given the Mother of all Whakapohanes .

We have heard that one of the people most clearly and widely questioned in our recent history is due to return to Venezuela after statutes of limitations have expired.

Just imagine what a marvelous message a small delegation of our "notables" dispatched down to Maiquetía to receive that person with a mini-Whakapohane would send. 

We should definitely not lightly discard the possibility of introducing an ancestral aboriginal custom from New Zealand in to the Venezuelan political scheme . 

Whakapohaners of the world, unite! The alternative are much worse.

Spanish translation

The first version was a blue one

Then, I don't know when... some applied the original concept